When I wrote a post satirizing the Ice Bucket Challenge called the Moose Knuckle Challenge, little did I know what would happen. My tongue was planted firmly in my cheek when I suggested men take photos of their underwear-clad…um, boy parts and post them on social media to raise awareness for testicular cancer.
Thoughts of capturing a little social media lightning in a bottle were attractive to the novice blogger I am, but my realist nature convinced me it would most likely be shouting in the forest. The worst thing I imagined happening was complete indifference from readers; just another blurb that appeared in people’s e-mail or WordPress Reader that was ignored from lack of interest, time, or both. The best outcome would be some ephemeral internet notoriety that ultimately amounted to nothing.
What I got was some weird no-man’s land that confuses me greatly.
After a couple of weeks performing like any other post (That is, OK the first week and an occasional visit thereafter), visits started to increase. They have built to the point where The Moose Knuckle Challenge post accounts for two-thirds to three-quarters of the visits to my blog every day.
And it’s driving me nuts, if you will excuse the pun.
Based on the data from WordPress, what I suspect is happening is someone decides they want to satisfy some prurient interest of theirs by gazing at the outline of a stranger’s nether regions, Googles out “Moose Knuckle” or some variant, and becomes sorely disappointed when he visits my post. Part of me it thrilled for the traffic, but another part is genuinely upset that these visitors abandon my blog on discovery there are no photos of naughty bits to be had.
I enjoy nudie pictures as much as anyone, but that is not what this particular blog is about.
So, I’m at a bit of a loss over what to do. I certainly don’t want this blog to become an adult site. Lord knows I’m barely acceptable for much of polite society as it is. That is not a line I’m interested in crossing. Even when I eventually get around to publishing my back catalog of erotica, I’m not sure I want it to influence the tone here. I’ve racked my brain for a way to convert those random visits to traffic to the rest of my posts, but something tells me that people searching specifically for photos of Spandex-clad genitals are not interested in bat shit crazy anti-fur protesters, social media bullies, the stages of the Hero’s Journey or the archetypes found within it. You would think they might be interested in humorous anecdotes of carousing with shit-kickers, Portuguese Tupperware, hatred of HOAs, or why my neighbor wants me in prison.
Alas, the search for titillation focuses the mind to exclude serendipitous discovery.
Maybe that is a good thing. It serves to shoo away the window shoppers. If I ran a car dealership, wouldn’t I welcome a mechanism to separate those who only want a test drive from the serious buyers? Perhaps the Moose Knuckle Challenge post serves as a gatekeeper of sorts and keeps out the riffraff. Or maybe a photo of my junk just isn’t that interesting. I guess I should stop my crying.
A Google search for “Moose Knuckle Challenge” returns stuff I’ve written in three of the top four spots. I am told that is a good thing, but do I really want to be “The Moose Knuckle Guy”? I need to figure out how to work this whole Search Engine Optimization thing.