Podium of Corpses

4parkerAlison Parker’s body wasn’t room temperature before her father, Andy Parker, began pushing gun control drivel in the wake of her murder. Like any good Liberal, when Vester Lee Flanagan gunned down Alison Parker and Chris Hurst, Andy Parker seized the opportunity to push his political agenda down the collective throat of an unwilling populace.

The vehemently anti-freedom Democrat Party jumped at the chance to convert a grieving father into a social justice pawn. Andy Parker was only too willing to pick up the torch from Sarah Brady, Moms Demand Action for Gun Sense, and Gabby Giffords.

Does having a child murdered turn parents into hoplophobes or do we only hear from the ones that already are?

For the sake of my belief in humanity, I hope the first part is the case. Otherwise, the option left is that we have a country full of parents who are such ideologues that rather than mourn the death of their children, they use their dead children as megaphones and moral currency to advance the cause of gutting the Constitution.

I don’t begrudge any parent mourning the death of his child. I also expect him to mourn in private. Once you take your grief public and become a group’s spokesman and lobbyist, you have become fair game for public ridicule. It’s a simple formula: go private to stay private.

This scumbag and his wife are using their child’s corpse as a podium from which they plan to make a living taking the moral high ground.

If the truth were to be told, I know neither him, the victims, nor the perpetrator, and would have likely gone the rest of my life without knowing any of them. Every single one of them is completely inconsequential to my life, but dammit, if they might not have an influence on the life of every gun owner, now.

Liberals like Andy Parker cannot stand being inconsequential and grasp at every ghoulish event to gain street cred and push their agenda. I salute every parent who withdraws from the limelight to mourn his child in private without inviting strangers to the wake.

It’s been two weeks, and we have heard barely a peep out of Adam Ward’s family. Perhaps it is because they understand a madman, and not the instrument he used, killed their boy. The Ward family does not fit the narrative of Liberals, and they are thankfully being ignored by them. I hope God gives the Ward family strength and comfort.

Were I in Andy Parker’s shoes, I don’t think I’d be in any sort of condition to make the rounds of the television news shows with my daughter’s Down Syndrome affected boyfriend, Chris Hurst.

Again, if you want to mouth off in public, you should expect the public to mouth off back.

3parkerWhen Corky has the benefit of hindsight to evaluate this situation, Chris Hurst will realize Vester Flanagan did him a solid by freeing him of the drama that was sure to come in the fairly likely event that a workplace love affair between two twenty-somethings falls apart.

By Chris Hurst’s own admission in at least one interview, he and Alison Parker celebrated “month-aversaries” because their relationship was all of nine months old. They were deeply in love, planned to marry, grow old together, and indicated such by moving in together.

Jesus Christ on a Saltine Cracker. MONTH-AVERSARIES? I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

There’s no way in Hell a man thought up this bullshit. And for going along with this stupidity, I hope one of the vaccines that seems to have given Chris Hurst a mild case of Autism also made him sterile. The last thing we need as a society is more pussies making children.

I get the feeling Chris doesn’t have a father around to slap him across the back of the head and say, “What the fuck are you doing playing house with this nutty bitch?”

2VesterVester Flanagan saved Chris Hurst a boatload of suffering and money in attorney fees, child support, and replacing half the stuff he would have lost in the divorce.

I engaged in plenty of dumbassery when I was Chris’ ages, and he seemed headed for the same blind alley I went down. Now, Chris will squander the time he should dedicate to playing up the dead girlfriend angle for meaningful sympathy sex. Instead, he’s going to spend the rest of his life as a pinch-faced Robin to that hypocrite Andy Parker’s Batman.

My God, why is youth always wasted on the young?

The last person in the world who should be deciding or influencing any sort of public policy are victims. They are simply too close to the cause to have any sort of clinical distance. Sarah Brady, Gabby Giffords, Andy Parker, etc. can’t be trusted to not trample the rights of the vast majority of United States citizens in their zeal to assuage their grief.

No gun law short of complete prohibition would have possibly prevented Alison’s death, and no gun law will bring her back. Make a change where you can, Andy. Perhaps advocate where the real problem lays; how we deal with crazy fucks. You would not push for prohibition of cars had she died in a drunk driving accident.

I call Andy Parker a hypocrite for a very specific and demonstrable reason. Sometime during the first week that Andy Parker was dragging Alison’s body between news interviews and gun control meetings with Democrat politicians, he found time to drop by the local County Sheriff’s office to apply for a Concealed Carry permit.

Apparently, Andy Parker views the people he would like to strip rights from as mentally unstable as the man who murdered his daughter and disposed to come gunning for him.

How magnanimous of Andy Parker to risk his personal safety for my children’s. In the course of twelve hours after Alison Parker and Adam Ward being murdered, Andy Parker decided he would make it his life’s work to eliminate the scourge of gun violence from American society. Of course, my preference would be for people to stop trying to help me so much.

6parkerThere are two types of irony in Andy Parker deciding to carry a firearm to protect his own safety; the humorous kind and the kind that makes you angry. Andy Parker’s hypocrisy falls into the second category. An example of humorous irony would be if Andy Parker carried a Glock 19, the same type used to gun down his daughter and Adam Ward.

If Andy Parker happens to walk into your gun store to make a purchase, please, please, please, do everything in your power to sell him a Glock 19, and then only give him 10-round magazines because “You only need ten rounds.”

Andy Parker has been pretty general on the extent to which he would like to infringe on his fellow citizens’ Constitutional rights, but I get nervous whenever anyone uses the terms “reasonable” or “common sense” in relation to taking from me.

My definition of reasonable in this instance is “none.” There should be no more paperwork associated with the retail purchase of a firearm than to buy a gallon of milk, but I might be open to “reasonable” restrictions, such as prohibiting possession by non-US citizens, persons convicted of felonies that actually involve a firearm in the commission, and the bat-shit crazy, which as far as I can tell includes virtually all Liberals.

Something tells me that Andy Parker would disagree with my interpretation of the term “reasonable.” The discussion of what constitutes reasonable is a perfectly legitimate argument to have. The trouble is gun-grabbing Liberals keep demanding the definition of reasonable be reevaluated each time an agreement is reached.

The ultimate endgame of Andy Parker, and freedom hating Liberals like him, is complete prohibition of firearms everywhere.

In one of the dozens of interviews Andy Parker has given in his attempt to be the next John Walsh, Andy said, “They picked the wrong family to mess with.” Exactly who is this “they” he referenced? Vester Flanagan killed Alison Parker all by himself. What “they” is there left now that Flanagan killed himself?

The only “they” I can imagine Andy Parker to be referencing is what Liberals call “The Gun Lobby,” unless there is some secret cabal of gay, black men sending out lone assassins to eradicate the Parker clan.

According to Liberals, The Gun Lobby is a group of death merchants funded by the Illuminati and responsible for the murder of each person who catches a hunk of lead by issuing fully-automatic, clip-fed, belt-operated, assault weapon guns to babies as they exit the womb.

1VesterConsidering that Andy Parker went on a whirlwind political junket meeting the Virginia Governor, State and Federal Congressional representatives, and a slew of gun control advocates, all while working through the initial shock of his daughter being murdered and picking gun control as the new direction of his life in about twelve hours, the only conclusion I can draw is that he had all these people on speed dial because he anticipated the events.

Andy Parker knew in his bones that the Gay, Black, Gun Lobby would come after him eventually for his Liberal beliefs by targeting his loved ones. He just didn’t know when they would strike. Andy had to gamble and use his only daughter as bait to draw them out of the shadows. He lost the bet, and now Andy Parker is going for double or nothing to bring down the whole Washington Gun Lobby.

Holy shit. In seventy-four words, I wrote the plot summary for Taken 4. Quick. Get Liam Neeson on the phone. Tell Liam we’ve got a gig for him.

And tell that fiend Andy Parker to quit using his daughter’s corpse as potting soil to revive his frustrated career as a celebrity.


6 thoughts on “Podium of Corpses

  1. Right arm!


    “Perhaps advocate where the real problem lays; how we deal with crazy fucks.”

    I hate how we, in general, as a society, can’t deal with causes and always focus in on the symptoms. Make it go away, mommie!


  2. He is using his dead daughter for politics. A disgusting father. Wanting to be in the limelight. His daughter was in the reenactment for the confederate civil war. I wonder if she would agree with daddy. Poor excuse for a parent. I wonder if he had life insurance on her

    Liked by 1 person

      • Hey you guys since this is a forum for cheeky opinions how about this guy is doing the best he can? I’m going to guess – and I don’t know him from Adam and neither do either of you, correct me if I’m wrong – that this is the way he is handling his grief. There are some people out there that fly into action because they can’t go back in their cave and lick their wound. He’s (probably) that kind of “manly” man who feels like he must “fix” everything and isn’t very reflective. There’s a place for these guys. We don’t always need to vilify them right out of the starting gate.

        I would characterize his actions as one of the lesser evils that we find in this world. There are some blatant in your face destructive evils and then there’s this kind. I suggest that we could look at his actions as a way for him to “do” something about his grief. Maybe – and I’m guessing – he feels that if he doesn’t do something that his daughter’s death goes for nothing. I can respect that.

        That being said, I would tell him to his face that going about it this way isn’t going to be the best solution. It’s just the easier one. And butt-ass wrong. Sometimes the hard way is the better way.


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