My Big Gay Southern Wedding

Lincoln County Courthouse

Gay marriage is now legal. Confederate flags are virtually illegal after the Mother Emanuel shooting. And if reports out of Memphis are accurate, the Mayor not only wants the statue of Nathan Bedford Forrest removed from a city park, but the remains of the General and his wife, as well. Considering AC Wharton has been Mayor of Memphis since 2009 and involved in local politics since at least 2002, the first question that enters my mind is:

Why now? The statue and body have been in that park since 1904. Were you waiting for a sufficiently large and innocent group of blacks to die, or did this revelation come as thunderbolt from the sky?

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Nathan Bedford Forrest

Memphis is having a mayoral election on October 8, so that is the time to express your displeasure to this scumbag Democrat. Either that or just abandon Memphis entirely before he turns it into Baltimore. Failing either of those, you deserve whatever you get. I wash my hands of y’all.

Clearly, the parishioners of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church are better Christians than I can ever hope to be. If I were a black member of a historically black church, seeing a squirrely white boy waltz in might have given me cause to discreetly make sure my pistol was still with me.

Maybe the good citizens of South Carolina are still so wrapped up in the Michael Slager shooting of Walter Scott that they forgot wild eyed, young peckerwoods with self-administered bowl haircuts are harbingers of death.

I don’t get it. A black kid walks into a white church, and nobody bats an eye. A white kid walks into a black church, and everyone is blown away.

What surprises me is the lack of cry for additional gun control. There hasn’t been a peep from Liberals to confiscate our implements of freedom. They rarely miss on opportunity to use the graves of innocents to push their anti-freedom agenda. It’s probably because the victims of the Mother Emanuel massacre are specifically identifiable as Christians, and there is nothing a Liberal despises more than a person recognizing an authority higher than government.

BullyRather, Liberals have again exposed themselves as the bullies they are by attacking the powerless; a piece of cloth. Not just any piece of cloth, but a flag. Specifically, the Confederate battle flag.

The same people who refuse to see the hatred and violence that accompany bearers of the ISIS flag, see nothing but a white tide of racism risen from dead Confederates’ graves coming to re-enslave all blacks.

All of this despite the fact that in the War of Northern Aggression, as now, there were blacks who proudly carried their Confederate flags as the symbols of defiance and cultural they are.

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Oh, that’s right. Every one of them were slaves pressed into service by their masters. Perhaps I can disabuse you of that myth, as well:

Frederick Douglass, Douglass’ Monthly, IV [Sept. 1861,] pp 516: “there are at the present moment many colored men in the Confederate Army – as real soldiers, having muskets on their shoulders, and bullets in their pockets, ready to shoot down loyal troops, and do all that soldiers may do to destroy the Federal government…There were such soldiers at Manassas and they are probably there still.”

“Negroes in the Confederate Army,” Journal of Negro History, Charles Wesle, Vol. 4, #3, [1919,] 244-245: “Seventy free blacks enlisted in the Confederate Army in Lynchburg, Virginia. Sixteen companies of free men of color marched through Augusta, Georgia on their way to fight in Virginia.”

Noe, Kenneth W., Perryville: This Grand Havoc of Battle. The University of Kentucky Press, Lexington, KY, 2001. [page 270]: “The part of Adams’ Brigade that the 42nd Indiana was facing were the ‘Louisiana Tigers.’ This name was given to Colonel Gibson’s 13th Louisiana Infantry, which included five companies of ‘Avegno Zouaves’ who still were wearing their once dashing traditional blue jackets, red caps and red baggy trousers. These five Zouaves companies were made up of Irish, Dutch, Negroes, Spaniards, Mexicans, and Italians.”

From James G. Bates’ letter to his father reprinted in the 1 May 1863 “Winchester [Indiana] Journal” [the 13th IVI [“Hoosier Regiment”] was involved in operations around the Suffolk, Virginia area in April-May 1863 ]: “I can assure you [Father,] of a certainty, that the rebels have negro soldiers in their army. One of their best sharp shooters, and the boldest of them all here is a negro. He dug himself a rifle pit last night [16 April 1863] just across the river and has been annoying our pickets opposite him very much to-day. You can see him plain enough with the naked eye, occasionally, to make sure that he is a “wooly-head,” and with a spy-glass there is no mistaking him.”

The 85th Indiana Volunteer Infantry reported to the Indianapolis Daily Evening Gazette that on 5 March 1863: “During the fight the [artillery] battery in charge of the 85th Indiana [Volunteer Infantry] was attacked by two rebel negro regiments.”

After the action at Missionary Ridge, Commissary Sergeant William F. Ruby forwarded a casualty list written in camp at Ringgold, Georgia about 29 November 1863, to William S. Lingle for publication. Ruby’s letter was partially reprinted in the Lafayette Daily Courier for 8 December 1863: “Ruby says among the rebel dead on the [Missionary] Ridge he saw a number of negroes (sic) in the Confederate uniform.”

Federal Official Records, Series I, Vol XVI Part I, pg. 805: “There were also quite a number of negroes attached to the Texas and Georgia troops, who were armed and equipped, and took part in the several engagements with my forces during the day.”

Federal Official Records Series 1, Volume XV, Part 1, Pages 137-138: “Pickets were thrown out that night, and Captain Hennessy, Company E, of the Ninth Connecticut, having been sent out with his company, captured a colored rebel scout, well mounted, who had been sent out to watch our movements.”

Federal Official Records, Series I, Vol. XLIX, Part II, pg. 253 – April 6, 1865: “The rebels [Forrest] are recruiting negro troops at Enterprise, Miss., and the negroes are all enrolled in the State.”

Federal Official Records, Series I, Vol. XIV, pg. 24, second paragraph: “It is also difficult to state the force of the enemy, but it could not have been less than from 600 to 800. There were six companies of mounted riflemen, besides infantry, among which were a considerable number of colored men.” – referring to Confederate forces opposing him at Pocotaligo, SC., Colonel B. C. Christ, 50th Pennsylvania Volunteer Infantry, official report of May 30, 1862

From the diary of James Miles, 185th N.Y.V.I., entry dated January 8, 1865: “Sargt said war is close to being over. saw several negros fighting for those rebels.”

And as a cherry on top, I will  quote from “The Forgotten Black Confederate Soldier” blog since I am unable to make the point any more eloquently than the writer of the article:

“Black Southerners also demonstrated loyalties based not on ownership, subservience or fear. The Confederate Burial Mound for Camp Morton, Indiana, at Indianapolis, Indiana, has bronze tablets which list the nearly 1200 Confederates who died at that camp. Among those names are 26 Black Southerners, seven Hispanic Southerners and six Indiaan (sic) Southerners.

At a time when those Black Southerners could have walked into the Camp Commander’s office, taken a short oath and signed their name to walk out the gates free men obliged to no one they chose instead to stay even unto death.”

Exactly how much evidence will it take to convince Liberals and the social media sheep who are only capable of the shallowest of critical examination that black Confederates existed, they still exist, and whomsoever waves a Confederate banner is neither necessarily a racist nor an Uncle Tom nigger?

Just to be clear, when discussing the “Confederate flag,” we are really talking about a group of five flags. The Confederate States of America went through three national flags in its short existence, a battle flag, and a navy jack, which only differed from the battle flag by being rectangular instead of square.

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The flag that typically gets everyone worked up is the Confederate battle flag, which is appropriately referred to with the sobriquet “Southern Cross.” The term “Stars and Bars” is only appropriately applied to my favorite version of the Confederate national flag, the first.

I appreciate it for its value in separating those well-schooled on the issues from the ignorant rednecks who use the Southern Cross as a combination burglar deterrent and Hell-raiser street cred.

We talk slow down south, but we don’t think slow. There are an awful lot of smart and highly educated rednecks running around who don’t buy the Yankees’ bullshit.

The Confederate flag is really a marker of differentiation. It’s a waving declaration of not only what the bearer is, but what the bearer is not. Black or white, that person is stating in no uncertain terms that he is not a Yankee.

Not only is he not a Yankee, but he actively resists the Yankees’ attempts to homogenize the South, a place chock full of adopted sons and daughters who choose to live there over all other possible locales.

images (60)That statement of rebellion is particularly true for the black Confederates. They clearly see what their Northern and urban brethren have become and reject it out of hand. They don’t fear the white man next to them, but rather the violent, sociopath blacks participating in riots.

Neither do they fear dead white men. Unlike the guilt-ridden white Liberals and opportunistic politicians who haul down all versions of the Confederate flag from Southern war memorials, removed busts of Confederate Generals from legislative houses, and are now agitating for grave desecration of long dead Confederate leaders, Confederates of all colors are able to separate bravery and courage of conviction from racism by examining the context in which the Confederate flag is displayed.

If the intention for the remains of Nathan Bedford Forrest are similar to the stated plans for the Confederate flags, his descendants will have to jockey for position with museum patrons to visit the final resting place of their ancestor because he will literally be on display in a glass case, presumably to be jeered at.

If I must silently swallow the assertion that the Confederacy lost the war and can therefore be abused at will by the victors, the American Indians had better quit their bitching, too. Either that or I want my own casino. I’m reasonable.

Another falsehood promulgated by Liberals is that Confederates were, by definition, traitors to the United States. They were less traitors to the Union in 1861 than the Founding Fathers were traitors to the English Crown in 1776.

Secession_Illegal_July4thAt least, the Confederates were operating under the good faith of an unresolved Constitutional question. The Founding Fathers knew there was no provision for separation from England and their declaration of independence was absolutely treasonous.

Abraham Lincoln engaged in political maneuvering that would make the current president proud in order to avoid the Supreme Court hearing the issue of whether states had the right to secede because Lincoln thought the Supreme Court would rule against him.

As written in the 1860’s, the Constitution did allow for secession, and Lincoln knew it. So to achieve his unconstitutional goal of forcing the South to remain part of the Union, he simply prevented them from making their case. That’s straight out of the Liberal Playbook.

If you can’t beat ’em, make ’em shut up.

One group who has no requirement to keep their mouths shut, either collectively or on an individual basis, are homosexuals.

Liberal mindsetIn another victory for special privilege for the malcontented and self-entitled, the United States Supreme Court has struck down all prohibitions on gay marriage. The fourteen states that still cling to the quaint believe in the Tenth Amendment have been told by the Supreme Court that the will of their people, as expressed by their respective representatives and state constitutions, matter less than the will of the LGBT activists half a continent away.

I’m reasonably confident that given the opportunity, LGBT activists would hurl Confederate flag wavers to their deaths from tall buildings just like ISIS has done to homosexuals in Syria.

LGBT ISISI have a terrible predilection for causing trouble and generally sticking my thumb in people’s eye whenever possible. To that end, I need a man equally mischievous as I who possesses the ability to act and a desire to make a complete stranger deal with conflicting prime directives.

The plan is for he and I was sashay into a proclaimed gay-friendly bakery posing as an engaged couple to place an order for a wedding cake that looks more or less like this.


Do I really have to explain the hilarity that would ensue from two gay, good ol’ boys desiring to exercise their new-found right to marry with a celebratory confection bearing the Confederate battle flag?

Holy shit! I might actually get to see someone’s head explode from the paradox.

One of the freedoms enjoyed by Americans is the right of association. It works in reverse, too. We all have the right not to associate with whomever we choose.

If you disagree, I suggest you get to work on my big, gay, Confederate-flag, redneck wedding cake before I report you to the PC Police for violating my rights.


22 thoughts on “My Big Gay Southern Wedding

    • It’s driving me ape shit. Both from a political and a practical view. It’s distracting. I keep thinking I have comments to review.
      All the ass kissing in which businesses are engaging to placate the hysterical minority of their customer base will come back to bite them. At the bottom line, they are alienating more dollars than they are attracting.


    • Somewhere along the line, Americans raised a couple of spoiled generations that don’t have a concept of hardship and have very little to complain about, so they invent causes.
      Those generations have been spoiled rotten and expect the world to cater to their whims just like their parents did as children.
      Whine long and hard enough, people just give you what you want to shut you up. The problem is that the ones whining are never satisfied.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Sounds a bit like you are still miffed the South is still part of the US. You mentioned the victors abusing the Confederacy as if you are still being abused by not really being a US citizen, and that your territory is somehow separately governed, like the Native American territories. You can accuse everyone else of whining, but you might take a look in the mirror.

    Disclaimer: I am from the South. I don’t feel like a red-headed stepchild.


    • Actually, I’m miffed by the willingness to appease those who cry the loudest and the longest, I’m miffed at selective veneration and enforcement of rights that are conjured out of thin air by re-election seeking politicians and their electorate minions who are dazzled by shiny objects. Lastly, I’m miffed by those who have lost their sense of humor, their sense of history, and the concept that liberty means people will be offended now and them. I find Yankees offensive and a shock to the conscience for a long list of reasons. My solution is not to invade their area of the country and impose my views on them. My solution is to let them wallow in their own filth as long as they don’t try to track it onto my carpet.
      You mentioned Indians, and I mentioned Indians in the article, so I’ll mention Indians again…mostly, because I like saying “Indians.”
      Indians indigenous to the South often practiced slavery which predated arrival of the White Man. Based on the reasoning of the anti-Confederates, we need to take down a lot of Indian flags, highway markers, and monuments, as well. And possibly bulldoze some casinos while we’re at it. Just as the gays have been saying for years, I’m only asking for equal treatment.
      I am an Adopted Son of the South. She has welcomed me with open arms, a big plate of biscuits and gravy, and held me tight to her bosom.
      To be sure, we have our share of collaborators and Liberal scallywags, but their hysterical screeching is amplified far lager than their actual numbers.


  2. Wow, 20 years of spoiled people and within days the Confederate flag and monuments are destroyed . Powerful people did this and yet nothing is being done about the ISIS terrorists.


  3. I love this! You have a way with words that I truly love. I think it is absolutely unbelievable what the minority is doing to history. I can’t believe that Governors are actually falling for this crap and taking down history. Fighting gay weddings but taking down the flag. Unbelievable! HISTORY! Erase it from our books and minds and we’ll all be sheeple soon. Keep up the fight!


    • Thank you. Don’t forget to follow me, as the novel is forthcoming and you definitely don’t want to miss the announcement. It’s not overtly political, but it is entertaining.
      Honestly, I don’t care how the gays want to arrange their households. Any number of activities in which I engage offend.
      What can I say? I like to party.
      Whatever the number and gender combination you use to define marriage isn’t my business. It’s also not any of the government’s. The only entity issuing marriage licenses should be churches, and each one can define marriage however it wishes. If I don’t like they way they do things, I don’t have to associate with them, and it works the other way around, too.
      Despite what Liberals believe, liberty is freedom of association, not forced association.
      The Founding Fathers were concerned about tyranny by the majority, and I think were are just about there. Unfortunately, the Supreme Court is all too willing to allow the popular majority to tyrannize any minority their Twitter account tells them to.


  4. […] That’s easily half of the videos on Youtube, and taken broadly, means an awful lot of people will have videos demonetized, since I’m not even sure Disney content escapes this dragnet. Despite the screams of “censorship,” Youtube isn’t abridging anyone’s free speech. It’s not like they are refusing to bake gay wedding cakes. […]


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