How to Ruin a Business in 5 Easy Steps – A Guide to Liberal Activism


gay isis flagI was surprised by the response to LGBT ISIS. Those particular Liberals don’t have a well-developed sense of humor, so I expected negative feedback from the usual lunatics. However, several Rainbow Warriors of my acquaintance, whom I expected to issue a fatwa against me, displayed keen senses of humor at my turns of phrase and thorough understating of how a free market operates.

It turns out fags don’t mind being called fags as long as you can make them laugh while you’re doing it. Or maybe they’re just grooming me for recruitment. I’m not sure.

Donnell, I left my watch on your nightstand. Can you get it back to me? Thanks, bro.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Gay fatwas

Me: “What would a gay fatwa entail? Being held down and my hair styled while show tunes played in the background?”gay_terrorist

My one gay friend: “Or maybe Techno. Depends on how old they are. And then we’d convert you, if you know what I mean.”

Me: “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Sailor.”

For the couple of people who got really angry at me and vowed to never read another thing I’ve written (and then oddly enough, forwarded or linked back to the post to tell people who had never heard of me what a jackass I am), I wanted to expand on the venerable tradition of the boycott.

BoycottAmerican colonialists made extensive use of boycotts of English goods in the years leading up to the American Revolution. I would argue that based on the size of the Colonial economy, compared to all the other markets available around the world, the actual financial impact of thirteen colonies in a backwater of the British Empire refusing to buy a handful of British goods was minimal.

The boycotts were of far more symbolic value to the separatists than any amount of financial blow to the British GNP. Contrary to the stated aim of hurting British business interests, the men who would become our Founding Fathers created privation and hardship among their most loyal followers by convincing them to eschew necessities of life not easily or inexpensively obtained from alternate sources.

In the grand Liberal tradition of bullying those with whom you disagree into doing what you want, here is a page from the Liberal Playbook; How to Ruin a Business in 5 Easy Steps.

Step 1

Force a confrontation with an unsuspecting victim

In the recent Indiana Religious Freedom Protection Act tempest, a local Indiana news affiliate, hungry to create a news Memories Pizzastory on a slow day, descended on the Podunk town of Walkerton (population 2,200). Poor Mrs. O’Conner of Memories Pizza was too kind-natured and polite to do what she should have done. She should have beaten that news reporter with an oven peel until his innards oozed out of at least two orifices. Instead, Mrs. O’Conner displayed the patience of a good Christian (certainly one better than I) and stated her belief with certitude. We all know what happened next.

This step relies on finding someone who is unprepared to speak on camera. People in the various camps of gun rights (open carry, concealed carry, hunters, select-fire aficionados, etc.) are media savvy enough to prepare supporters with tips and talking points to use should one of them be cornered by a news crew. Most Christians don’t yet understand there is a war of annihilation being waged against them.

Step 2

Gin up social unrest over the perceived slight

BullySocial media is the current method to whip up public opprobrium against the offending person, group, or organization. Liberals are masters of it. Not because they are particularly media savvy in getting a message out. Quite the opposite. Organizations such as Moms Demand Action, Gun Sense, and Planned Parenthood do not have a history of effective media campaigns. They only gain high levels of traction because of a high engagement rate by the target audience.

We know from sociological studies that the vast majority of the country are quite conservative people too busy making a living to spend much time pushing a social cause. They believe in a “mind your own business” philosophy and rarely become involved in silly “raising awareness” efforts, and they certainly don’t believe in engaging in vendettas aimed at someone’s livelihood.

Alas, that is the problem. Liberals practice a scorched earth policy and believe in the total destruction of every philosophical enemy.

Like Hitler, Mao, Pol Pot, and Stalin, Liberals literally believe those with whom they disagree do not deserve to live.

Step 3

Convince your useful idiots they are homophobic, racists, sexists, or simply uncool for patronizing said business

Taco Bell, PepsiCo, and McDonalds are solid, established brands. Like Starbucks, an identical menu is offered at every I quit my joblocation. However, unlike Starbucks, the other three are viewed by the young, hip, and liberal segment of American society as being old-fashioned, staid, corporate (whatever that means), and environmentally unfriendly.

For reasons I fail to grasp, a sizeable chunk of society has some sort of allergic reaction to a business that issues stock. In the process of picking winners and losers, they derisively call the disfavored companies “corporations,” as if the socially favored Starbucks and Whole Foods are not structured under the same incorporation rules as the companies they loathe.

The difference is Taco Bell, et al have realized the peculiar penchants of these retarded hippies and turned it to their advantage by employing “intrepreneurs” to create seemingly local, almost mom-and-pop storefronts that appeal to food snobs who would not be caught dead eating in a chain restaurant. The American Taco Company that hipsters love so much is an entity created and entirely owned by Taco Bell, but the useful idiot foodies are largely unaware and flock to the joint.

For fun, I think I would like to hang out at one of these pseudo-local businesses and hand out fliers blowing the restaurant’s cover.

But that would make me no better than the Liberals. Besides, I have a job that takes up all my free time.

Step 4

Seek redress through sympathetic courts

Kangaroo courtLawyers call in “venue shopping.” Much like a pill-head going from medical provider to medical provider in search of scrips for their drug of choice, part of the process is identifying complicit sources. Lawsuits work in a similar manner where the lawyer picks a business to target (See Step 1) that resides in a jurisdiction he judges to have the best chance of success.

As distasteful and cynical as that process seems, it works. Hence, the states making up the Ninth Circuit are the favored grounds to initiate legal challenges to open questions of law or to challenge existing precedent.

Believe it or not, appeals lawyers actively seek out sympathetic appellants with clean criminal backgrounds willing to be arrested and stick with a case through the appellate process.

Do you think Rosa Parks happened by accident? She was hand-picked from the Civil Rights faithful to intentionally violate the segregation laws, while several other similar pending cases were passed over for whatever reasons because the lawyers believed they were ultimately losers.

Step 5

Ruin lives and livelihoods in the name of equality, fairness, and self-esteem

Memories Pizza in Walkerton, Indiana may very well be a memory as the owners doubt they can continue to run the I quitbusiness, or even continue to live in Walkerton, after the number of terroristic threats and amount of sundry harassment to which they have been subjected.

Waging a campaign to destroy my business by publicizing what a jackass you believe me to be is one thing. Threatening to burn that business down, rape my wife and children in front of me, and then kill all of us…

SpartaWell, I take threats at face value and everyone at their word, so choose your words wisely, Persian. This is Sparta.

Moms Demand Action has been throwing an entirely unsuccessful hissy fit against Kroger for their refusal to require their customers to disarm to gain entry to the business. They achieved a measure of success in bullying Target into a wishy-washy appeasement policy that effectively says “We’d prefer you didn’t wear a gun in the store, but we won’t say anything, if you do.”

Where these harpies have had success is Starbucks. Considering the company’s hippy-dippy, white guilt ethos, prohibitingHarpy open carry in their stores was visible a mile off.

Were I of the Liberal mindset, I would be picketing outside the nearest Starbucks screaming my head off about how my rights have been violated, threatening property damage, and interviewing lawyers for the inevitable lawsuit.

But as I said earlier, I have a job and better things to do than force a company that hates my guts and everything I stand for to take my money.

I’d much rather patronize a business that welcomes me in the first place. No protests, lawsuits, social media campaigns, or any other silliness. Just take the money of a middle-aged, heterosexual, traditionally married, opposite sex couple that wants to buy a cup a coffee.

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17 thoughts on “How to Ruin a Business in 5 Easy Steps – A Guide to Liberal Activism

  1. […] We culled the four meanest, most bullying birds we had, and for about twenty-four hours, the sense of peace was palatable. There was no more jostling of the youngest pullets by Fatty Boombaladdy, no more random run-by peckings from Pecker, and no more close air support from Percher. We had taken the fight to the enemy and neutralized the most prolific troublemakers. […]

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  2. […] Liberals and hippies with their reduced carbon footprint to save the planet ethos love this sort of stuff, but until somebody makes an electric truck that can match mine on performance and beats it on cost to purchase, operate, and dispose of, anybody who thinks I’ll abandon internal combustion is smoking too much of whatever it is they grow on the back forty. […]

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