Just Make the Fucking Donation So the Stupidity Can End


There is a new fad sweeping the internet.  The Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).  Thank God that Lou Gehrig made this disease well-known because most people can’t pronounce its real name.  Lou Gehrig did more to raise awareness for ALS than all these retards combined.  I don’t see these folks with that kind of commitment.  I’m severely tempted to come up with my own Charity Challenge.

The Ice Bucket Challenge is where someone chooses to dump a bucket full of ice water over themselves to raise awareness for ALS.  Then a thoroughly wet and shivering philanthropist nominates someone else who must either complete the same silliness or donate to ALS research.  Everyone is getting in on the act.  Sports figures, movie stars, celebrities, and even everyday people.

This strikes me as a pretty slimy way for someone who can afford a donation to weasel their way out of it while getting themselves some free media exposure…I’m looking directly at all you fart-sniffing, holier than me celebrity types.  If you were that much of a philanthropist, I would never hear about either your donation or the publicity stunt.  They suffer a slacktivist form of Oblivia.  Having worked in Public Health for a large university, I can tell you that raising awareness is a feel-good way to spend money left over at the end of the year when you have run out of ideas to actually fix the problem.

Considering the options presented in the challenge are douse yourself with ice water or donate, my question is who is the jackass who started this all?  Did he decide to mimic the sensation of breaking through the ice in the Klondike because he was short on his charity fund, but had access to a camera and an internet connection?  Does this assuage his guilt for putting off the day Stephen Hawkin can tap-dance while lecturing about wormholes and space travel?

And why a bucket of ice water?  Why not sit on an ice block.  Or instead of the safe way out, take a real risk and chop through the ice of a frozen river?  I suspect it is to mimic the shutting down of muscle control that comes with ALS.  Perhaps it is so popular because there is not true risk in doing this and it is visually impressive.  Brave is waking up every morning knowing you will suffocate just a little bit more today.

Maybe these guys want the attention of appearing tough and brave in their own private wet T-shirt contest.  How macho!  Now that I’m thinking about it, why are only guys doing this?  I’m sure there would be a huge surge in donations to ALS causes if we could get the ladies behind this activity.

I have some great ideas for the next internet craze.  They will be bigger than flagpole sitting and stuffing university students into a telephone booth.

  • To raise awareness for hernias, videotape yourself running up to a buddy and kicking him in the balls.
  • If you do it from behind, you are raising awareness for prostate cancer.
  • Video having someone mace you to raise awareness for blindness.
  • At the next party you attend, surreptitiously pee on someone’s leg to raise awareness for urinary tract infections.
  • How about shooting yourself in the hand to promote gun safety?

I’m sure there are more, and I would love to hear them in the comments.

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17 thoughts on “Just Make the Fucking Donation So the Stupidity Can End

  1. Granted that majority of the people taking this challenge have no clue about ALS/Lou Gehrig’s disease. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if they read past the Ice Bucket when they were challenged.
    That being said, its not just about the donation.. but also about awareness. If ALS is known tomorrow as the Ice Bucket Disease, it doesn’t change anything medically.. but because of the awareness this madness brought,people would be able to identify the disease.
    I was reading about the money that the “madness” raised this year and it is significantly higher. ($31M, this year vs $1.9M last year)
    I also know of a few folks who took the challenge for the fun part and donated some money to the cause.
    As long as you are not harming anyone, its ok. The people nominated are usually friends, who you think would participate in the madness or donate.

    Who would have thought Bill Gates will take the challenge and Charlie Sheen would back out and donate $10G?
    So what if you do it for some free video publicity?

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    • Doing it for the free publicity takes away the philanthropic value. Quiet, selfless service has more value than that undertaken with fanfare.
      It is screaming “look at me. I’m giving to charity. Aren’t I cool and hip?” It cheapens the donation and turns people suffering the disease into tools to be exploited for self-advancement.

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      • Most of charitable fund raising/awareness raising activities become more about the activity and the charitable cause becomes the motivation for it. E.g. when people run a race for charity, the race becomes the focus and the race silently supports the charitable cause. If someone runs a race and post the picture on Facebook telling their friends about their accomplishment, is that free publicity? Or if they post about their intent and ask friends to join them in the fun (race, scout cookie sale,lemonade stand, community volunteering), is that making fun of the beneficiaries? Charitable work has philanthropic value, when you enjoy doing it, else it becomes a chore.. you may call it free publicity, it’s raising awareness nevertheless.

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